Writing: The Profession Most Likely to Accidentally Land You on a Terrorist Watch List?
Good writing is good because the conflicts are strong and the plots are intriguing. Of course, this means it often has to include stuff that’s not part of the writer’s every day life. And so to learn more about these exciting, obscure, dangerous things, we writers do what every lazy, red-blooded American would, we Google. And this, of course, leads to an interesting cache of searches. For me, these have included:
The names of the clothing the Taliban required male citizens to wear after taking over Afghanistan
Algerian methods of torture
How to do a kidney transplant
Photos of Jack the Ripper’s victims
How to launder money
Soviet Era weaponry
From talking to other writers, I know I am not alone in my clandestine searches… if I’m not on some sort of government watch list, the Patriot Act is failing us.
I wrote this a few nights ago but hesitated posting because it seemed really depressing… after rereading I have confirmed that fact, but I also believe that there’s some inherent life truth hidden in my musings (self call?) so decided to post anyway. Happy Spring Break!!!
Last night on Facebook I noticed a photo tagged of three of my college friends - three friends that also live in Los Angeles - all hanging out together and generally looking happy. Two of these friends used to be my roommates and the other was a member of my small, tight-knit college improv group; none of them were ever my closest confidants, but neither were they mere acquaintances. And yet in the past year I think I’ve only actually seen one of them, and that was briefly and over six months ago.
Yes, we all move on with our lives and make new friends and find new paths and interests, but something about seeing these three individuals all spending time together, without me, likely not having a second thought about me, makes me sad. It also makes me wonder if everything I had believed about our friendships was a lie.
I should probably contextualize: all of these friends were also mutual friends with an ex, an ex with whom I am not on good terms. And for a variety of reasons - they’re all male and, as a female, I’m the odd one out, they’re all pursuing comedy professionally while I’ve chosen a different post-graduation path, they’ve continued to be roommates with my ex/each other while I have not - my ex seems to have laid claim to them post fall-out. I’ve tried to maintain the ties by inviting them to events and sending occasional emails, but these invites have never been reciprocated and the responses to my messages have become so few and far between that I rarely try anymore.
My good friend, Amy, has a philosophy on friendship: if the other person is not willing to make as much of an effort to maintain the relationship as you are, then they’re not worth having as a friend. I agree with her, yet somehow seeing these people I care about slip noiselessly out of my life is very distressing. No matter how old I get, that 13-year-old girl with crippling self doubt still exists in a a tiny part of me. While I can list all the logical reasons why friendship with my ex was just easier for them, losing my friends makes me wonder if all those happy memories I have of times spent together making comedic shorts or laughing with/at Food Court Larry were simply illusions, images I constructed in my head to be something more than they were.
Memory is a peculiar beast: self-selecting and extremely subjective. Looking back can be fun and nostalgic, but it also has a darker side. I guess all I can do is to continue to believe that there were good times and that I am (and was) a likable person. I have many wonderful people in my life right now, and I am happy with the path I’m currently following.
"People who could not even spell the word ‘vote’, or say it in English, put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House. His name is Barack Hussein Obama."
—
Tom Tancredo at the Tea Party convention in DC.
This whole movement is starting to get scary. While I don’t agree with their politics, I can understand the ideology of wanting a small government. But when you rally people around racist ideals with vitriolic hatred that’s another story. In addition to his lovely quote above, Tancrado (who I’m ashamed to say hails from my home state of Colorado) called for a return to voting literacy tests. Jim Crow, anyone?
I guess the only bright spot in all this is that I think a literacy test would hurt the Tea Party more than it would help it…
Instead of getting really excited that a movie is shooting in your area, thinking maybe your house/a place you’ve been to will show up on the big screen, or maybe you’ll catch a glimpse of that charming Reese Witherspoon at the local supermarket, you just get pissed off because the set is invariably making your life difficult in some way…
Today I drove all the way up to Burbank to go skating (like I do every Friday) but was turned away in the parking lot because they were shooting a scene at the rink. Boo! Perfectly good friday (a tiny bit) ruined!
Yesterday started out kind of crappy when I accidentally backed my father’s truck into the garage door and broke it (the door; the truck was fine.) Granted, I am not used to driving such a large vehicle (that’s what she said?) and, per my dad’s instructions, I was focusing on not hitting his motorcycle with the side mirror, but as a person with a decade long clean driving record it was pretty embarrassing and guilt-inducing.*
Luckily my day got better when I found a little joy in the misery of someone else**… a little bit of Christmas Schadenfreude if you will (only the Germans would have a word for such a thing.) As I was driving home I was listening to my weekly podcast of NPR’s Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me. When they got to the celebrity “Not My Job” segment I realized that I knew the listener that Star Trek’s Mr. Sulu was playing for, and it was a person that sort of rubs me the wrong way. I have never been so happy to listen to a dorky celebrity fail, and for a “lucky” listener not to get Carl Castle’s voice on their home answering machine.
Maybe this makes me a bad person. Then again… meh.
*Fortunately my dad was able to knock the door back into place so even though it’s still a little bent at least it closes again.
**Okay, so my day skiing at Copper Mountain was also pretty awesome:
It doesn’t matter how many guys in the previous half hour have offered her an unneeded ride, asked her if she’s single, honked and shouted “DAMN!” (or the Spanish or Armenian equivalent), given her free rosemary fries at the farmer’s market, or called her “honey” while waiting at the same crosswalk with her, it’s the one asshole that shouts “Put on some pants!” as she walks back to her car that a woman will remember. And that incident will ruin her day.*
Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Dudes, you should be even more outraged, especially those of you who like to make women feel beautiful by complimenting them, because one of your own gender is ruining it for the rest of you! Support self-confident women. They’re more fun to talk to (and more likely to wear short skirts again in the future.)
*Something that the shock of finding out her ex-boyfriend just got engaged to someone barely 22-years-old without a college education was not able to completely do, mind you.
The Best Analysis of the Health Insurance Debacle I’ve Ever Heard
Why are American health care costs so high? Who’s to blame? How did we ever adapt an employer based health care system to begin with? What happens when you put your hedgehog on anti-psychotics?
The past two weeks the NPR radio show, This American Life, has broadcast a special two part series explaining, in depth, what, exactly, IS wrong with the American health care system and how the mess all came to be. They examine patients, hospitals, doctors, pharmaceuticals, veterinarians, and, of course, the insurance industry.
I’d highly recommend checking out both episodes. You can listen to both free on their website.
391: More is Less: A surprising fact about Bush’s economic failure. Are doctors to blame for rising costs? Or is the problem the patients? And, who would win in a fight between a polar bear and an insurance company?
392: Someone Else’s Money: The most exciting hour you’ll ever hear about the insurance industry, including armies of medical coders, prescription drug coupons, what we can learn from pet insurance, and a few parts that actually make the insurance giants seem less evil than we all think they are.
I have definitely begun to question my own role in the problem: do I trust my doctor enough or am I overly cautious and demand every test done at whatever cost? I think I would find it really hard to say no to anything “just in case” even if it were an incredibly improbable occurrence… Are you part of the problem, too?
Most of the time I keep my mouth shut about divisive political issues; my family and friends run the gamut from very liberal to very conservative, and for the most part nothing I say is going to change their minds and is, instead, just going to piss someone off in the long run. That being said, there are a few issues that, for one reason or another, I feel extremely strongly about. Right now, the two on the top of my list are gay marriage and healthcare. With the national debate currently raging about Obama’s “public option” I figured it was a good time to throw my hat in the ring.
Health care is a very personal issue for me; for those of you who don’t know the whole story, last year I was diagnosed with cervical adenocarcinoma (cancer). I was extremely lucky that I’d just started grad school so had pretty good health insurance provided by USC, and everything was treated with one minor surgery. If I’d gotten the diagnoses just three months before, however, it would have been an entirely different story. I was on individual payer insurance: I had an extremely high deductible and the whole system was a bureaucratic mess designed to place individual clients last in line when it came to service (In addition to the crappy coverage, in the just over two years I was with them, they raised my monthly rates from $69/month to $125/month for no reason other than that they could.)*
Why did I have this health insurance, instead of a good plan provided by my place of employment? Because I’m pursuing my dream to be a writer, so I work part time, odd jobs, and as an independent contractor, and none of these positions provide me with insurance, so it was my only option. I actually went for a period of 6 months to a year shortly after I graduated from college when I didn’t have health insurance at all. So you know all those 50 million uninsured Americans they keep talking about? Those aren’t necessarily the downtrodden, scum of society who just can’t find a job…
When I finish my master’s degree, I would like to continue to pursue my dream of writing. Under the current system, my only option for health insurance would be to again apply as an individual payer. However, because I now have a “preexisting condition” the insurance companies can refuse me service outright. And if any of them did decide they wanted to insure me, it would likely be astronomically out of my price range (even though the chances of the cancer reoccurring are very very slim.) Shouldn’t I be allowed, like all the rest of you out there, to pursue my dream career without having to worry if I can afford to go to the doctor if I’m sick, or pay for a prescription? Sign me up for this public option!
It seems to me that the entire argument against having a public option is based on fear of the unknown, especially an outdated, archaic trepidation towards the word “socialism,**” which seems to us Americans as the first fallen domino towards communism, a totalitarian regime, and the government bugging our apartments to make sure we’re not talking about them behind their backs.
OK extremists, hold up!
This is akin to saying that we shouldn’t have gun control because it’s just the first step towards taking away our second amendment rights, or that there shouldn’t be any regulations on abortion because it will inevitably lead towards the overturn of Roe v. Wade. (Oh, hey, look at that, I used an example from both sides of the political spectrum… uh oh, that means I might be a reasonable person who can see both sides of an issue!)
American’s have ALWAYS had some socialized institutions; they’re part of what makes this country great. What makes it even better, though, is that there is also always the option for the private sector to compete and offer a better product. A few examples: Public schools - Every child has the right to be educated in one of these institutions. If a parent feels they’d rather pursue a private school, that is okay too. The idea here being that, because we’re a country founded on the ideals of equality for all, every one of us should have the right to get an education that can help us achieve our highest potential. Another example: The police department. We all have the inalienable right to be protected by our government. We can also go to the private sector (private investigators) if we feel they’re not doing their job. I feel this is the right time to insert a wonderful parody video created by my friend Jonathan:
Our country was founded on the idea that everyone is entitled to ”life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” (or property.) It seems to me that health care is a pretty basic human right, particularly when it comes to that “life” part of the Declaration. If I don’t have access to the same health care as you because I have crappy insurance, or because I can’t afford insurance at all, doesn’t that mean I have less of a chance to pursue “life?”
To me a public option seems like a no-brainer: every American is guaranteed basic medical coverage. Of course, a vibrant private sector will always be there to compete, offering top-of-the-line products for those willing to pay. Large employers will likely keep their health insurance benefits to lure in the top employees, but small business and the self-employed don’t have to worry about paying exorbitant fees because they can not offer a large enough group to negotiate a better rate.
At this point I’ve realized I have far more to say on this subject than I ever imagined! Rather than making this piece even longer (because face it, if you’re still reading now you’re a trooper), I’m linking to a great article about the biggest myths in the healthcare debate. And since this has all been very heavy, here’s a picture of a cat to lighten the mood:
*Just to compare what you get as a private insurer vs. being part of a large group: As an individual, by the time I left the company I was paying $125/month, or $1500 per year. I had a $5000/year deductible, and 70% of my care was covered (disregarding copays for office visits.) I had a $50 copay for prescription drugs. As part of a group plan at USC, last year I paid around $950 ($1350 if you include the University’s health center fee), have a $300 deductible, 90% of my care covered, and a $25 copay for name brand prescription drugs.
** I have had some form of personal experience with the “socialized” healthcare systems in four different countries - Denmark, The Czech Republic, St. Vincent & the Grenadines, and Ecuador. While they varied in quality, I always walked away wondering why we didn’t have something similar in the US… If an extremely poor island nation can provide coverage for all its citizens, why can’t we? We could only do it better! If you want to hear my anecdotes about these experiences I’d be more than happy to oblige.
Why Most People Suck at Giving Relationship Advice
The other day I wasn’t seeing eye to eye with the boy. I was on the phone with my friend Amy (discussing other things) when all of a sudden I just blurted it all out - everything I was feeling, my overall relationship fears, what was frustrating me, etc. To my surprise, it was a very helpful conversation!
Usually I don’t share much about my personal life, especially when I’m going through a tough time. I’ve found that most people (even very close friends) focus on the negative things you’re saying, and offer extremely pessimistic advice. They tell you that the other person is no good, that you deserve better, there are other fish in the sea, it sounds like you’re not that into them, blah, blah, blah, blah… Frankly it’s not helpful, and worse it’s confusing. You’re venting to your friends because there are problems, and you know that, but you still love the person and you just need someone to listen to your side, and support you whatever you decide. Maybe help you see things from another perspective. But it seems like, more often than not, our “friends” advise us to end things with our partners.
This is something I’d been contemplating for a while, so when Amy said she hoped she wasn’t being too pessimistic, because she’d noticed that people have a tendency to do that when giving relationship advice, I felt relieved and vindicated in some way. It wasn’t just me and my friends! This was a problem that everyone experienced (well, at least amongst us 20-somethings.) So then I started to think about why. Why do these people who love us constantly think we should be breaking up with our partners (even knowing how much it will hurt us?) Here are my (completely unscientific/unprofessional) theories:
Parents: Parents can’t stand to see anything hurt their children, so the moment we tell them things are less than perfect they go into protective mood, and try to remove whatever is hurting us… In relationships, that’s our partner. And since parents always think of us, in some way, as children, they can never imagine that our relationships are “that serious” so ending them couldn’t possibly cause us more harm than being in them can.
Single Friends: Honestly, it sort of sucks to be the “single friend” when everyone else is in a couple. So single friends are constantly trying to recruit people to join their ranks, so they have someone to call on friday night to go hang out at a bar and pick up boys/girls.
Newly-in-Love Friends: (as in, less than a year). When you’re newly in love with someone, it’s bliss! You feel like you’re going through something so amazing that no one else has ever felt it before. And no one ever will again. No one else’s love could ever compare yours. That a friend might have even an inkling of a problem with a significant other means their love is just not as pure as yours, and therefore not worth it. Tell them to end it now and find someone else (with whom they might live up to 85% of your love’s love with.)
Long-Term Relationship/Married Friends: They’re happy, but more in that contented way. They’re not going to end their relationships, but can’t help but sometimes nostalgically think that the grass is greener… So they like to have single friends to live vicariously through. And hey, if you break up with your boy/girl friend you’ll soon have all sorts of fun/pathetic stories to tell them! And then they can go home and sleep in their big, comfy beds they share with their partners and realize how good they have it.
Bitter/Newly-Single Friends: They are convinced love is a sham and relationships never ever ever work. Wouldn’t you much prefer to drown your sorrows with them, wearing all black and crying on the inside?
Friend Who Has a Not-So-Secret Crush on You: Because even though you’ve told them you’re not into them in “that way” they still hang around, trying to appear as innocent and sweet as possible as they say underhanded things about your current partner. (Alas, this is not a problem that I am having at the moment…)
In the past couple months (since I had these realizations) I’ve been trying to be a better listener, and really understand what my friends are saying, and really support them in whatever they think is best. I’ve also been lucky enough to find a couple of my own friends who do the same. Perhaps it’s just a maturity thing? I dunno… I used to have only one person I felt I could talk to about my love life. Now I’m lucky enough that I might have three!
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