Selling out by ironically trying to not sell out: An open letter to MGMT

Dear MGMT,

Last friday night, three friends and I tried our best to dress like we hadn’t tried too hard and walked up to the Greek Theater in LA to see your show.  Now, I like your music, but I will admit that I am more of a casual fan than an aficionado: I have five of your songs on my iTunes, as well as two mash ups (my boyfriend really likes mashups.)  I didn’t really know much about your second album, as there haven’t really been any radio hits off of it (and, unfortunately, I’m totally uncool and the extent of my knowledge of new music comes from the radio or what Pandora thinks I might like). So the day of the concert I went through the whole album on iTunes and listened to the 30 second previews, because I wanted to be more familiar with your work before showing up to your concert.  Nothing really grabbed me enough to download. That was okay, though;  I could still go and see some cool, smart kids rocking out on stage, as well as hear a few favorites performed live.

The concert was fine; you played songs I knew and liked intermixed with things I didn’t know so well, that were a little harder, but worked well live (especially after I finished my extra-large beer.)  I could have used a little more audience interaction but, hey, everyone has their own style.  As expected (and anticipated), you closed with your most well known song, Kids.  This is where things took a seriously sour turn.  About a minute into the song, I noticed that there was keyboard music, but the keyboardist wasn’t play.  The others in my party were noticing the same thing: no one on stage was playing their instruments, you were all just dancing around, occasionally throwing your used water bottles (um, yuck?) to the crowd.  Basically, you were making it quite clear to anyone paying half an iota of attention that we were paying to watch you dance to your cd played over the sound system. 

I don’t even remember what happened in the encore.  The entire 2-3 songs you were out there, all I could do was not clap and try to see if you were faking those songs as well, or if you were actually playing.  I became suspicious of your whole show!  I essentially left the concert feeling like I’d wasted my $40.  Boo.

When I got home, of course, I went to the Google and tried to find out what had been going on.  What I learned when searching “MGMT doesn’t play kids” (which my browser automatically filled in for me… wow, that’s not a good sign) was that you refused to play Kids at Cochella, as well as a few other venues, saying that you had “moved on.”*

So here’s what I think happened: You guys are “artists” and are all about the music, not the money, so you wanted to distance yourself from your past work so you could move forward.  I get that: as a fellow artist, I know that looking back on my past work, it’s really difficult to see past the mistakes and not think how much better I could have done it if I could redo it now, with more skills and knowledge.  And, I mean, only sellouts play music for the money, right?  In fact, if you kept playing Kids that would just prove you were sellouts.  Whoa, dude, I totally feel you; we gotta stop playin’ Kids or we gunna loose mad respects from the ironic mustache club!!!

Unfortunately, I’m gunna guess that this didn’t go over so well with the concert promoters: If you piss off enough people on the internet, it’s gunna get out there, and that’s going to hurt ticket sales.  I can picture the scene: Y’all are chillin’, comparing Ray Bans, when an overweight, cigar-smoking promoter in a plaid jacket bursts into the room and yells at you until his tomato-ey head is about to burst. You tell him to chill, but he threatens to cancel the rest of your tour dates for the summer and storms out of the room.  You are stunned to silence; you love the music, but you also got to pay for those Ray Bans somehow.  You come up with the perfect solution: Let the audience listen to what they want (Kids) but don’t actually play it!!!  ZOMG!!!?!?! Perfect.

Wrong.  In a superb twist of irony (I assume as educated, po-mo rockers you know what that is in the non-mustachioed sense) your solution to not sell out made you into the biggest sellouts ever!  You’re playing A CD player plays Kids JUST for the money, because if you didn’t you wouldn’t sell concert tickets. And lord knows, you gotta sell them tickets.  And all this because you think you’ve outgrown what Rolling Stone called one of the top 100 songs of the decade? 

I’m not going to say fans are always right (as mentioned above, I really knew nothing about your second album and I was basically just there to here you play those old faves; music snob I am not) but your fans did make you successful.  So sure, don’t write a song because you think it’s what the masses want, but pay some respect to the people who allow you to pay for a tiny old woman to sew you into your mind-bogglingly tight pants every day.  Without them, you’d be just like the rest of us struggling artists: sitting in your small, non-ACed apartment writing blog entries to famous people who will never read them.

Appreciate what you have, MGMT, you’re the lucky ones.

Most sincerely,

Kelly Morr

*There’s also a lot of gossip out there saying that you lip synched on SNL… I’m not going to go into that here, but it doesn’t help your reputation, fellas. 

Why I Hate the Cold in Los Angeles

The last few days the high here has only been around 60 degrees, with temperatures dropping below fifty at night.  Yes, yes I know, all of you in the Midwest or Northeast are laughing at the pitiful temperature sensitivity I’ve developed after almost half a decade in Southern California.  But after being home in Colorado for the holidays and then traveling to Ohio (where highs were in the teens every day) two weeks ago I realized that the problem isn’t us wimpy Angelinos aren’t wimps, but rather a city that is fundamentally unable to deal with non-paradise-like weather.

In places used to the cold, the buildings are insulated and the heaters always at the ready during the winter months. Even if you have to wear a parka, scarf, and three pairs of gloves to walk from your car into work, at least once you’re there you can strip down to a comfortable t-shirt or blouse. In LA, some buildings don’t even have heating systems, and the ones that do are definitely not maintained regularly, and even when they are working properly, the heat rarely stays inside due to poor falls and single-pained windows.  Therefore, when it’s 58 degrees outside in Los Angeles, it’s also 58 degrees inside.  Even with a sweater on, this is not a particularly comfortable temperature.  I don’t want to have to wear a jacket, hat, and gloves while I’m working.  So I don’t.  And then I just end up chronically chilly all day, which leads to crankiness, and nobody wants that.

In conclusion, the same way that DC and Baltimore are not equipped to deal with two feet of snow, Los Angeles is not equipped to deal with sub-70 degree weather.  I’m cold.  Come back 75, I miss you.

You know you’re a real Angelino when…

Instead of getting really excited that a movie is shooting in your area, thinking maybe your house/a place you’ve been to will show up on the big screen, or maybe you’ll catch a glimpse of that charming Reese Witherspoon at the local supermarket, you just get pissed off because the set is invariably making your life difficult in some way…

Today I drove all the way up to Burbank to go skating (like I do every Friday) but was turned away in the parking lot because they were shooting a scene at the rink.  Boo!  Perfectly good friday (a tiny bit) ruined!

Just submitted my script to Nicholl’s… Fingers Crossed!

I just submitted my newest screenplay (officially - for now - titled “Gray Market,” but lovingly referred to as “Organ Mob” to all those who have read it/edited/helped me along the way) to the Nicholl Fellowship Competition in screenwriting, run by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

This contest is very highly regarded in Hollywood, and it’s one of the few worth entering, not only because if you do win, the prize is awesome ($30,000 fellowship to write for a year) but because it gives you a lot of exposure and street cred. Two years ago, I placed just outside the quarterfinals, but because I was so close the contest manager wrote me a hand-written note telling me I was in the top 10%. Based on that alone I’ve been able to get almost any producer/agent I’ve approached to read my work. (Of course, I haven’t been pushing that whole thing as hard as I should, but that’s another story.)

For all you other writer’s out there, here’s a list of the screen and television contests that are actually worth entering:

May 1 - Nicholl Fellowships - 5 winners receive $30,000 Fellowship to spend a year writing a new screenplay. Quarter and semi finalists also tend to get lots of industry reads.

May 1 -˙Sundance Screenwriter’s lab - Screenplay workshoped at Sundance

June 1 - Final Draft’s Big Break - $15,000 prize for first place. Reads by agents/producers.

July 3 - Fox Diversity Fellowship - TV Writing. “Diversity” means you can be white and male as long as you write about characters who aren’t. Winners get 6-week mentorship at Fox.

July 25 - WB Writers’ Worshop - I dunno much about this one because it’s TV-oriented. Seems to include weekly workshops/mentorships/help getting a staff placement after the program is over.

Augest ? - ABC/Disney Writing Fellowship Program (Both film & TV divisions) - Fellows get a $50,000 paycheck for a year, and are mentored by someone at ABC/Disney. They are required to attend workshops, etc. I believe TV winners are placed on shows?