Ruminating on Reuniting: Dartmouth Five Years Later

Last weekend I went to my five year college reunion.  Like most… whatever-you-call-us-since-we-don’t-have-an-official-mascot-s*… I was super excited to go back.  Ever since Daniel Webster uttered those famous words - “It is, Sir, as I have said, a small college. And, yet there are those who love it.” - Dartmouth alumni have felt an undying pressure to freakin’ love the shit out of our alma matter.  (Seriously, I’m not just saying that.  Almost 50% of the class came back from all over the country and world just for this weekend.)

I spent a good deal of the weekend just walking around campus with old friends.  Nearly everyone I talked to remarked on how “weird” it was to be back, because it was all the same.  Well, except for those two giant new dorm clusters and new math building in the center of campus.  I tried to keep my mouth shut.  It wasn’t weird, persay, it was just… Dartmouth.  It had the same smells, the same sounds, the same lazy feel of sophomore summer.  But we knew it was fleeting; come Monday morning we’d all be back to our regular lives: jobs, law-school, residencies, freaking out about how unsuccessful we are because we’re unemployed creative types in a down economy… A friend (who just happens to be a lawyer who works 60+ hours a week) remarked how much she wished she were able to do college all over again, with what she knew now.  After a few minutes of giving her a hard time about the realism of such a thought experience (i.e. would you also know about political events?  would that give you the power to change the future? become really rich? etc.) I started to think about what I really missed from college and what I didn’t.  So after that exceedingly long, whistful, anecdotal introduction, here’s the list I came up with:

Things I miss about Dartmouth:

• Not having to constantly be thinking about money.  Don’t get me wrong, I was poor as poop in college as the only spending money I got came from my measly $8/hour campus job, and I was racking up debt via loans I only vaguely knew I had, but most of my daily expenditures went completely unnoticed: my parents got the bills and sent off the big checks to cover my room and tuition.  All I had to worry about budgeting was whether I had enough cash to order EBAs or not.
• Wednesday Nights.  Wednesday nights were fraternity/sorority meetings campus wide.  I was not in a house.  This left me with a delicious conundrum: if I wanted to go out and party, I knew everyone would be there and be game, but if I wanted a quiet night to myself, I knew no one would bother me.  These days, social interaction requires so much planning.  I can’t just show up at a bar and expect my friends to be there. 
• Canoe Club/Molly’s/Lou’s.  Not because the food at any of these place was particularly noteworthy (though Canoe Club definitely held up even after five years of living in a foodie city) but because going out to eat used to be such an event!
• People thinking you’re interesting for being a film major. In LA if your’e not in “the business” you’re the odd one out.  Going back to Dartmouth I got to talk about all of my “cool, insider Hollywood gossip” and it actually impressed some people (Hey, you know, I sat behind Christina Ricci at a movie one time.  Big whoop.)  Also I-bankers/Lawyers/Consultants all weirdly envy those of us that took the creative route.  Probably because they are envious that we have weekday afternoons off, but don’t understand that we don’t have the money to take ourselves out to a leisurely lunch to enjoy it.

Things I don’t miss about Dartmouth:

• Twin extra-long beds.  I stayed in a dorm when I was back for reunion.  Holy crap I had no idea at the time how uncomfortable those mattresses were when I was in school!
• Safety and Security.  Yes, I realize they were mostly there to keep us safe and/or secure, but those guys could be total tools just for the heck of it, too.  I was reminded of this when a skinny, twerpy little one wouldn’t let any of us grown up adult peoples swim in the river while we were up last weekend.  He seemed so gleeful telling us that it was, “college policy” while sniffling around his straw colored mustache.  
• Low standards of cleanliness. I didn’t even make it into a frat basement this weekend, the dorms were enough.  I’m not a clean freak, but it makes me definitely feel like a grown up that beer-covered floors are no longer considered totally sweet, bra.
• Keystone Light.  My beer palate has improved, thankyouverymuch.
• Paying the check when you’d go out to dinner.  Because I’d always end up covering people who couldn’t do math to figure out tax/tip.  And, like I said, I was poor as poop in college.  Not to say that this doesn’t happen sometimes still, but it’s become a much rarer experience. 
• Dick’s House.  Seriously, worst campus health services ever.  I mean, I hate most aspects of USC, but their student health center literally saved my life.  Dick’s house probably would have given me a pregnancy test, told me that my cancer was just viral, and refused to give me antibiotics until I came back two weeks later pushed in a wheelbarrow my roommate borrowed from some Sig Eps.

Speaking of which, this is all that’s left of Sig Ep these days:

In conclusion, I liked college.  Reunion was mostly fun.  But I also don’t hate being a grown up.  Ah, time, you make it impossible to ever go backwards.  For now.

* Dartmouthians? Big Green-ers?  Kegs?